Saturday, February 21, 2015

Ready to go home and collapse into bed after a 9 hour shift at O'Harley's, Yesu trudged out of the restaurant. However, his plans immediately got put hold as soon as he looked up to see the most terrifying thing he had ever seen in his whole life. Across the street, on the side of the coffee shop, giant spray painted letters spelled out "YESU IS A KIDNAPPER AND IF YOU WANT TO SEE, GO TO APARTMENT 413." Yesu didn't even stop to think about who might have done this or how they could have possibly known his secret, he just knew he had to get back to apartment 413 and cover up the evidence before the police saw this and came after him. Even though his body was running empty on energy, the fear of getting caught sent adrenaline coursing through his body as he ran towards Dreamwood Terrace. As he ran, he started to sense that the blue Subaru behind him was following him. It seemed to match his pace and never pass him. The windows were tinted. It could very easily be undercover cops, he definitely looked suspicious running so quickly down the street. Yesu ducked into the nearest alley way and peered around the corner to see if the suspicious car had stopped. No, it kept on going. He then saw a tiny woman with crazy eyes running at lightning speed looking over her shoulder at the suspicious Subaru. She looked familiar, Yesu remembered he had seen her several times in the lobby with a bird on her shoulder. She looked decently content when he had seen her but now her whole face was stricken with fear. Yesu wondered if anybody could possibly be in a worse situation right now than he was. 

Growing increasingly worried every second, Yesu flung open the door to apartment 413 and struggled to quickly get through the high security system he had set up. His patients already had their feet and hands bound with thick rope, like slaves captured in Africa being taken on a ship to America. He shoved wads of toilet paper in their mouths so he didn't have to bear their screams. He was prepared for an event like this. He had a small borrow cut into the floor, hidden by a trap door with a rug over it. Hastily he pushed them into the borrow, trying not to hurt them in the process. Four of them in there looked like canned sardines crammed together on top of each other. However there was one sardine left that wouldn't fit and no other can. That was Jedediah, the sniper who was just too large and bulky to squeeze in. Yesu wracked his brain for alternatives as dread swallowed him whole. There were no alternatives. No good alternatives, that is. He slowly went to grab a cutting knife from the kitchen, in disbelief that it had come this point. Kneeling over his patient, he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to escape to one of those quiet, peaceful summer nights in North Korea as a boy. "Forgive me Father for I have sinned." He plunged the knife straight into Jedediah's heart.

Five minutes later there was a harsh rapping at the front door and a "Police. Open up," coming from a voice that meant business. Jedediah was now safely in the bathtub with the curtain drawn shut. The police would never look in there. Another 10 minutes later and Yesu was clear. The police apologized for the disturbance and he saw them out. After sitting down and praying for a few minutes, Yesu collected himself and let his four remaining patients out of the hiding spot. He headed for the bar, he needed to clear his mind. Since he was from a family with a history of drug addiction, though, Yesu cleared his mind with a good meal, not a scotch. He sat down at the bar and put his head in his hands, silently trying to pray away all the problems he had. 
"Hey, you're the guy from the laundry mat!" a bright voice said suddenly. Yesu didn't look up or say anything, he was too overwhelmed to say anything. "Remember? I helped you clean up the laundry detergent you spilled?" The voice was silent for a few moments. "Are you... are you ok?"
"Yes, I'm fine," Yesu lied, in a tone that was somewhere between annoyed and defeated. 
"Do you want to talk about it? I mean, I'm a decent listener, I could try and help you."
Yesu rose up quickly and cut him off. No! You can't help me, NO ONE can help me!"


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Repost:
    The motivation is clear (wanting to save people and do "God's work"), and the conflict is good (the moral dilemma of the way that he's doing "God's work"). There is not much inclusion in the whole, class blog, but the motifs and events used fit really well with your character's blog, such as using the meteor shower to signify a sign from God and the consistent inclusion of blue. His persona as a Godly man who uses unorthodox methods makes for an intriguing read.

    Passage: The man in the diner wasn't evil, he didn't need to be cured or healed. He just needed to be loved.

    I'd like to see more interactions with the people of Dreamwood; it would be interesting to see what he thinks of each of them. Also, Yesu is coming off as one-dimensional. You can tell how he's going to react. Try to avoid this.